Fatty fatty fatty

ugh. I just eat and eat and eat - it is embarrassing!

i hate...

the fatness. it exudes from every inch of my body. gross.

i'm not being strict enough with myself. Two of the bitchiest girls in my classes have started going to the gym all the time, drinking loads of water etc etc it makes me feel ill to be associated with them.

I'll go tommorrow, I don't feel like it. I'm tired and sore. But I'm also fat and blubbery. why can't i lose? I'm stuck at 100 and fat lbs and it is NOT MOVING!

My thinspiring blogs aren't writing - i need more support =(

doing better

just to prove that I don't only post when I'm not doing well, today was a good day.

I've had zilch bar water, been freezing cold and did a keep fit class at lunch and I'm going to the gym in a little while =) 

Saturday was...mixed.

I had a party in the evening, which I knew I would have to eat a little bit at, and, in all fairness, I managed to eat the bare minimum. But, I did get really drunk - which means major cals. There was throwing up in the morning (don't we all love hangovers...), but still had all those calories inside me for hours so I don't think that will have made much difference.

This week is going to be punishment for my complete overindulgence on saturday. My weight has been stuck for nearly a week now!!!! there will be loss.

Also...

bad bad news. The gym is closing for a whole month. a whole month! It'll be difficult to burn as much without it. sure there are classes I can go to, and I can go swimming, but that only burns off so much...

x

crap crap crap

that just about sums up how well i'm doing.

i feel disgusted with myself.

major restriction tomorrow + all weekend + major gymming it.

FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT

i'm digusting.

Thinspire me - BABY! =)

(Just as a side note, I've noticed that I only ever seem to post when I'm doing rubbish...I'm not quite so lacking in will-power as appears...)

keep going!!!!

my motivation has just been so low these past few days, I've been snacking and stuffing my face and barely going to the gym. I need serious thinspiration right now, the two blogs which I read which provide me with reams of enthusiasm haven't posted for over a week...I'm feeling so alone.

Weight has been stuck at 144lbs for god knows how long! I really need to break that plateau and get back in to it all. I know that I'm no where near to any of my old goal weights - but that always happens. 

so, to try and ease me back into it all, my sights are going to be set extremely low, if I can be 140 by the 20th, I'll be "happy". I've lost 12lbs since september...that was relatively easy, I know that the rest is going to be much harder to shift. This is weight that I've always carried round on me - its going to put up more of a fight. But I can win!

Losing 12lbs has made f*** all difference with dress sizes, some of my measurements have gone down a little, but my clothes all fit the same. Its just so frustrating! 

Lunch is gonna have to go. No excuses. I need breakfast to physically function in the mornings, but lunch goes. Thursday means special weekly lunch with my friends, so I'll have to eat something, but its going to be 'barely picked at' salad, with a extra large side of water - new recipe from classic chef Ana Regzig.

As soon as I finish writing this up I'm going to brush my teeth, do my workout, then hit the sack - even if it is only 8 o'clock - I'm shattered!

I'm going to try writing something on my hands to remind not to eat, coded obviously, it might help, it might not. But its worth a try!

x